Graceful Hostess Tips: Never Say How Much Work Went into a Party!

Ideas for hosting with style and elegance

This is one of my biggest pet peeves about parties. While you're hosting your party, never under any circumstances say how much hard work you put into it. And above all, never tell guests of honor how hard you worked to put their party together. It sucks the grace right out of being a graceful hostess. People can see how much effort you put into party planning, so zip it and let your hard work speak for itself.

Having to hear your party horror stories, makes your guests and guests of honor in particular feel uncomfortable...appreciative for your effort but uncomfortable.  Wouldn't you hate to know that you personally caused a lot of stress for someone?  That's exactly how someone will feel when you say her shower cake was a complete disaster and caused you to stay up all night baking another.

Instead, you should act like everything magically came together in perfect fashion and say what a pleasure it is to be hosting such a special event. This will make your guests feel welcome and honored to be included.

Of course you'll have party-planning war stories, but it's best to keep them to yourself. Days after the party, if someone asks you how hard something was because she wants to incorporated it into her next event, you can be honest but still graceful.

Instead of saying, "I sweated all my make-up off trying to get 20 eggs poached for Jane's bridal shower brunch, and then Sally arrived 20 minutes early and wouldn't stop talking. I got so frustrated that I overcooked the last few, and I looked like a mess during the shower."

Try phrasing things like, "That particular menu item required a lot of last-minute preparation, and I think it would be more convenient to choose something that could be made the night before."

Just remember that your #1 priority as a hostess is to make your guests feel welcome, so choose your words accordingly.

Have you ever been at a party where hosts shared their horror stories?  Post a comment and tell us how it made you feel.

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